4:30 a.m. and I am awake. I was sleeping sound and resting well and then the old bladder kicked in.  Never could go back to sleep after that.  In 6 hours, I will be at the hospital ready for chemo to begin.

Just heard the first alarm clock of the morning go off…guess I’ll sleep later today.  It’s an extremely busy morning.  Dropping off one of the cars for a minor repair over the next few days.  Since I won’t be driving alone, now is the perfect time to get it done .  Then off on a breakfast date with hubby.  It’s not like we aren’t going to see each other all day,  but we like going out to breakfast with each other.  It’s one of the little things we do together and enjoy.

I’m praying for specific things this morning, if you would like to join me:

• Peace of mind and calm of spirit for both Rick and I; This is a very unnerving process and environment and it really plays on your emotions
• Strength in my body, emotions and mind as I go through today and the next few days of unknown side effects; I actually pray I will have no nausea, vomitting or other complications due to the chemo or other medications I take at home.
• Strength in Rick’s body to be a caregiver and carry the burden of managing the kids’ schedule and household; strength in his emotions as he deals with the events of today and this weekend
• Strength for Camilla as she has a very heavy course load and prepares for her guard finals at western carolina unversity this weekend (7 am until 430 am the following day); strength in her emotions as she deals with the events of today as an added stress to her busy schedule.  She has been an amazing friend and support during this whole time.  She handles it so very mature on the outside; but I sometimes wonder how the inside is holding up.  I wish she didn’t have to be strong for me and that I could just be mom without the extra need for being taken care of.  I love my baby girl!
• Strength for Joshua as he figures out how to deal with this whole situation.  He is my baby boy and I love him very much.  How I wish I could wrap my arms around him and make this all go away.
• Peace, rest and calm for my parents and sister.  They love me so much and want to do whatever they can to help.  But, they feel helpless all at the same time.  My heart hurts for them because no matter how many little things they help with, it will never fix it and make it go away.  I understand the helplessness.  It’s hard to watch something happen to the one you love and have no influence on the outcome.  I pray God will comfort them as He works to make me cancer free!
• Ultimately, I am praying for God to touch me in His way, in His time.  I am believing I will be cancer free.  I actually have a very special goal date that I will share later in the process.  But, I believe God knows my heart’s desire to be cancer free and the significance of my goal date; I believe He will answer my prayer.