As I sit writing this blog, tears roll down my face. The full impact of today’s MRI results are finally settling into my emotions. I fully expected to hear the tumor had shrunk to a very small size. But, when the doctor said there was no evidence of cancer in either breast I sat with my mouth open staring from him to Rick as if watching a tennis match. Between two doctor visits and multiple phone calls and texts to family and friends, the magnitude of God’s goodness has not made its way into my emotions until now. I feel so unworthy of this miracle. It is much easier to believe for other people than it is for yourself. You know you; all the shortcomings, short-tempers and sharp words. I feel so humbled that God would send His Son to endure such torture so that one day in time I could be healed. It is almost incomprehensible how this can even be. How can the Creator of everything know me before the beginning of time and know that I would need Him so desperately? How could He sacrifice His own Son for someone so small and unworthy?
(Note: I just had a crying spell and fell on my face before the Lord in worship and thanks. Many tissues and a washcloth later, I resume my writing…)
My doctor stated they “were not expecting the MRI results to show the tumor completely gone”. I thought to myself, “God expected it”! According to my oncologist, people who have this kind of response to chemo (where the tumor “melts”), have a lesser chance of recurrence and higher cure rate. When I asked him when we start “measuring” weeks, months and years in regard to survivorship, he answered, “Now; today”. So, July 5th, 2012 is my first official day of survivorship!
The surgeon asked if I had just spent a week at the beach or in Vegas, implying I had hit the jackpot, because “you made your tumor disappear”. Although there is no sign of cancer on my MRI, they will still do surgery to remove a small amount of tissue from around the metal clip that was put in place at the time of my biopsy in February. This will be sent to a lab and examined to make sure there is no microscopic cancer in the breast. I will also have my port-a-cath (used during chemotherapy) removed at the time of surgery. After allowing the incision to heal for a few weeks, I will begin radiation. This will ensure that any possible cell left behind is eliminated.
Although people may wonder why I am still having surgery and radiation if there is no cancer, I am choosing to do what I feel is the right treatment for me and my situation as guided by information and knowledge from my doctor. Please remember that not every breast cancer patient/survivor is the same. Their type and size of cancer, treatment options and prognosis can and will lead down many paths. Please pray for me and my doctors as we continue down the path we feel is right for me.
My surgery is scheduled for this Tuesday, July 10th at 11 a.m. If you can, stop and say a prayer for me and the doctor. And, as always, if your Adams’ Angel t-shirt is clean, wear it that day to show your support.
And one more thing: I have a close loved one that has also been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is just beginning to walk the same road I have been on and needs support and prayers. Please continue to remember her as you pray for my family. They have specifically requested to pray for “God’s Will”, so that is what I ask God for when I pray for them.
Although I continue praying, fighting and believing, today I will sign off as:
Rejoicing and Surviving!