Yesterday was a day I thought I’d never have to face.
For the past 48 hours, we’ve waited for the results of Steph’s biopsy. Those 48 hours were the longest hours of my life. Pray, wait, repeat has been the of mode operation in the Adams household. The wait is the worst of all. I had so many unanswered questions that my mind would wander attempting to seek an answer or land on a resolution or find resolve.
The nurse told us that we would have some of those answers on Wednesday. I asked that she not call Steph until later in the evening when we could be together to hear the results. I left work early yesterday to drive my one hour commute home to be there when the call came. The nurse actually called Steph earlier than expected and she asked the nurse if she could call her back when she got home, to which the nurse agreed.
Camilla was still a winterguard practice, and Joshua was in the living room playing a video game when Steph arrived at the house. We knew we had to find a place to call the nurse that would be outside Joshua’s hearing radius. That was the difficult part because he can hear the littlest thing from anywhere in the house. I swear that kid can hear a dog whistle from a mile away. So, we go sit in the car in the garage. Seriously.
Steph had her phone in one hand, and I took her by the other and offered up a simple prayer before we call.
“Lord, whatever the results, we know You’re going to be with us every step of the way. You won’t be on the outside of the furnace looking in, but in the middle of the fire with us.”
Steph calls the nurse back, and after a little friendly banter, she gets right to the point. “You have breast cancer.” Those words a husband hopes he never has to hear. My heart sank and tears filled my eyes. Steph, in her efficient and organized way, began to take notes of everything the nurse said. Honestly, I didn’t hear much of it because those words kept echoing in my ear “you have breast cancer”. I kept telling myself, “This can’t be happening. This can’t be real.”
After she hung up, we sat there in the car, in our garage, staring at each other with disbelief. Camilla was coming home soon and we knew we had to call our parents, which we did. But then came the burden of telling our kids. It was a brief conversation, and we all shed some tears.
Soon after, Camilla posted her reaction which sums up how we all felt in that moment.
From there it was the whirlwind of calling and telling our friends and family. The response from phone calls, emails and FaceBook posts were overwhelmingly supportive. We barely had time to sit and talk as a couple before we went to bed. I stayed strong for her while she cried, then she’d be strong for me while I cried. I guess that’s how it’s going to be for a while.
Last night was a rough night. She is still having discomfort from the biopsy, so it’s difficult for her to get comfortable. I was called by my work at 3:00AM and I’ve been up ever since.
We both took the day off of work to be together today and have the conversations we didn’t have last night. We’re going to the specialist today and find out what our next steps are.
No matter where this path may lead us, we both know God is walking along side and His presence goes before us.
Rick & Stephanie,
I’m so glad we serve the same God, because we know the great things God can do for those that believe! In the past year, 2 women from my church have been diagnosed with breast cancer. After treatment one is in full remission and the other was healed miraculously with no trace of the cancer remaining. God CAN do anything!
I want you to know I am praying for you guys. Stephanie, I’ve never met you, but I respect you immensely because of the man you’ve married. He was a gentleman and a model Christian when I knew him in high school and I’m absolutely thrilled to know you both have found an amazing life with each other.
Rick, you may know already, but my husband has been through quite an array of illnesses over the last several years (from nearly dying of the flesh eating disease a few years back and currently in kidney failure). As a spouse of one who has been under physical, spiritual and emotional attacks, I want to encourage you. You may feel helpless and hopeless some days but amazing things will take place in your life through this trial and you will come to know Him in a way you never have before. Be ready to be marveled by our God!
Praying for you both and your children!
Thanks Sharon. I appreciate the kind and encouraging words. The road ahead isn’t an easy one to travel, but I’m not giving up on God’s ability to intervene and miraculously heal Steph. Thanks for standing with us and praying for our family.
Thank you for loving my daughter and caring for her like no one could. I never worry about her as long as she has you in her life. You are the best son (inlaw) I could ask for. Yes there were times when you married her and took her to ND I nearly died. But nothing compares with the pain with all feel now. I thank God for you and for what you mean to Stephanie, Cami and Josh. I love you.
Steph is an amazing woman, and I’ve loved her since I first saw her. I loved her before I knew her name. We’re all hurting and need each other now more than ever. I love you and thank you for all your support and prayers.
Stephanie and Rick, Camilla, and Josh, I’m so sorry to hear this news for your whole family. I’m Madelyn Poole’s mom and please please know how hard we are praying for you. Our God is an awesome God and I pray He can give you the peace that passes understanding. Don’t hesitate for an instant to let me know if you need anything. God speed, Jenny
I talked to Steph yesterday after my Josh asked me to call his “mama” ….and want you all to know that we are praying for strength, courage,and healing for your entire family. Like I told Steph….she IS STRONG and she WILL kick cancer’s butt! We love you all so much…if there is anything we can do we r but a phone call away!
Rick, Stephanie, & family…Stand strong and hold on the the mustard seed of faith..My family has been lifting up prayer for all of you during this most difficult time..I KNOW and BELIEVE that God has a purpose in our lives for which it’s hard for us to understand, but one day we’ll be able to see him face to face and get our answers..John’s best friends wife went through the same thing 7 yrs. ago at the age of 34 yrs. with a 3 yr. old.. They removed her breast and 16 limp nodes and she endured intense chemo and radiation.. She now has to take a chemo pill every day, but PRAISE GOD she is CANCER FREE!!!! Just wanted you to know what a blessing you are to my family and continue to lift you up in prayer.. We LOVE all of you…
Speaking of calls, now I feel even worse that they decided to call you at 3am.
I cannot express my regret enough that you have to face this.
I have learned to take solace in the impermanence of this world. My mother is dying of an asbestos-related lung disease and it is hard to accept. I know that everyone has an expiration date and at first it is a tough pill to swallow, no matter what you do there is no way to live forever, and suffering is a real part of life. The beauty is that once you do accept that truth, you are forced to spend every day knowing that life is fleeting and it slows you down and focuses you on what really matters. The time you spend with loved ones means more and you really take in the experiences you go through together.
The fight against breast cancer is not easy, but it can be won. You are both strong and this will only make you stronger, I feel like we are all here for a reason, that we are given obstacles to overcome and nothing is so great that you should ever let it break your spirit.
Now get your game face on soldier, there is a battle to be fought and won.