“You’re doing it; You’re winning.” With every small shuffle each foot made, he cheered me on. I was unable to sit and walk without assistance. He helped me in & out of bed and carried me to the restroom all day. He never once complained. I do not deserve someone as wonderful and dedicated as my husband, but God brought us together 24 years ago and I am humbled at this gift He has given me.
I cried a lot on Sunday, for many reasons. Some because I missed doing the “normal” Mother’s Day routine of church and lunch with my kids, some because I couldn’t even stay awake to spend time with them or converse with my own mother, but mostly I cried because I was embarrassed and ashamed of needing that level of care. I have always been independent and when you have to rely on someone else to help you sit, walk and go to the restroom it is very difficult and honestly, plain old sad. My heart broke for my husband with each and every shuffle I made and I cried.
I’m glad to say after spending two days in bed and one day sitting in a chair, I was able to get out of the house today. I had a visit with my parents and took my kids to the mall and dinner. Of course I’m exhausted now, but it was worth it to get out and spend time with the people I love.
The good news is God was gracious and answered my prayers for helping my daughter get ready for prom on Saturday. I was able to do her makeup and watch as my sister curled her hair. I was even able to take the pictures. She was absolutely beautiful and her date was handsome.
The end of this week brings a consultation with one of the surgeons. I have many questions and hope to get some answers. Please pray for me as I try to figure out a surgery plan that is right for me. I still have not made a decision and I really need to hear God on this one. I feel a bit desperate, but I know God will show me the right path at the right time. I am also praying for a good weekend as we attend a band banquet/awards dinner and celebrate my daughter’s 17th birthday. It’s a bit tricky for me to get rest with a busy schedule, but I’m praying my strength will return and I will be able to spend time with my family.